So I was looking through photobucket for picture of Duff Goldman or his cakes (he's one of my idols).

So I found this:

yes, its remarkably beautiful...but look at the name.
"Breanna Mendez"
thats a few letters short of mine! (Breeanna Menendez).

And what makes it more amazing is the work on the tail. All hand piped:


Mad props to my name twin for such a stunning cake!!!!! I love peacocks too!


I just felt like sharing that.

Also Incubus doing Pardon Me Acoustic is like having the best orgasm ever. I effin love Incubus.

And 311 is coming to Rolla to play for St. Pats! Be jealous. I've been a fan of theirs since I was in 8th grade. I have all their songs on my poor crashed computer.

So a very long time ago, I was about 105lbs.


Then in college I was about 130lbs Max.


Now I'm 23 and weigh 186lbs. *le sigh* After seeing those pictures I want to be skinny again!!!

(that picture should resize sometime soon. if it doesnt let me know and I will get angry with it)

So I wasnt feeling well after lab. Sam wouldnt lay off me with the "when are you leaving" questions. I told them I didnt feel well and I dont know.

Aparently that means attack me, start a fight and be a complete dick.

So now I'm staying home until he learns how NOT to be an asshole.

Guess I'll be stayin home for a long time to come.

What a jackass.

why do I keep taking him back? things never change.

I'm completely fucking miserable!

my day is completely ruined. Along with the cupcakes and brownie i bought him to surprise his useless ass.

now I'll most likely just throw them away. I dont want food. Its the last thing my fat ass needs.

my suitcase is unpacked. I dont fucking care anymore.

Sorry, I'm horribly amused by that icon lol.

Anyway I am in a much better mood now after spending about $150 bucks. Which is pretty amazing for all I got. (bare in mind that this post is in US Dollars $$)

My 1st stop was Marshalls. Usually their stuff is shit but I was bored. I did find a nice warm pair of gloves for 5 bucks and a fantastic large Vera Bradley knock off duffle bag for 24. It can carry the same amount as my suitcase...but its my own! The suitcase is my grandpa's I'm always afraid of harming it.

Next stop was Party City! Woo! I hit the Mardi Gras bead motherload! For those that dont know I collect 2 things: Mardi Gras Beads and Rubber Duckies. I definately stocked up on new beads! Plus I got alot of awesome stuff for St. Pats! All for about 24 bucks.

Then I went to Borders. It was- retards who work there but cant help you find stuff -day. I did manage to come out with 2 cookbooks. One on "college cooking" and the other was dinner ideas for 1 or 2 people. Sam and I can definately use that! Once again total cost was about 24 bucks.

Nextdoor was Old Navy where I spent about 78 bucks on alot of cute clothing. They've having a mega huge sale so it was exciting!

Then I asked the Petsmart people about my algae problem but they wernt any help so I got some taco bell and came home.


I'll post some pictures later of the beads if you all want. They're pretty much amazing!!!!

Lets recap my shittastic morning.

I woke up at 5:45 after not being able to sleep for shit all night.

My fish tanks have brown algae really bad and I cant seem to kill it.

I walk outside to go to school and my car is covered in ice. AND I HAVE NO FUCKING ICE SCRAPER. So i had to wait over a half hour while my peice of shit car deceides to heat up and melt the ice.

By then I'm already late for class and dealing with the most fucktarted rush hour I've ever seen. More on that later*.

I get to Forest Park and they havent salted or scraped shit off the roads, parking lot or sidewalks. Therefor my car is sliding everywhere. Plus the fucking Middendorf food truck is blocking all the good parking spots.

I finally get inside the fucking building and due to the uncleaned sidewalks I have snow packed in my shoes. They deceided to take away the mats from infront of the doors so naturally I slip and fall right onto the knee I need operated on.

Right as theres a class waiting for their chef and another kid comes downstairs. A know-it-all fucker from one of my last semester classes. Does he help me? no. He just says "wow thats embarassing" and walks off. I wanted to fuckin rail him but god knows in this city it'd be considered a hate crime (no I am not racist. Its just the truth around here).

Then I come to find out my fucking class was cancelled. THANKS FOR TELLING US AHEAD OF TIME CHEF FUCKHEAD!

I basically cried the entire way home.

So now its 7:51 and my day is a complete fuckin waste.

*Traffic:
Illinois Drivers:
Either find a job in your own fucking state or learn to drive. 10mph is not an acceptable speed on the highway. Not even in rush hour when everyone around you is going atleast 30.
Also there this knob on the side of your steering wheel. If you push it up or down a light blinks infront of and behind your call. Its called a TURN SIGNAL. You should try it sometime.

Old People:
If you cant see over the steering wheel, dont fucking drive.
Do not go 40 in a 60 in THE FAST LANE!
The turn lanes/suicide lanes are not your own personal lane so dont fucking drive down them!

People of St. Louis:
LEARN TO FUCKING TURN A CORNER! ITS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE. YOU DONT NEED TO SLOW DOWN TO A HAULT JUST TO TURN! YIELD DOESNT MEAN STOP. IT MEANS LOOK FOR OTHER CARS AND IF THEY'RE NOT COMMING THEN FUCKING GO! Christ almighty!

Everyone else:
If you try to cut me off, ride my ass or just in gernal piss me off I WILL run your ass off the road. I have road rage and this fucking city is what caused it!

And Truckers:
You all just need your own special lane that you're not allowed to venture out of. You fuckers need to stay in your own lane, drive the speed limit (not over or under) and learn to take turns without flipping over. You are the cause of most accidents and frankly I dont feel like dying at the hand of you redneck self.


I just need to go punch something and cry for 3 hours.

Sam left this morning. We had a fun time. Sunday I was off work so we went to dinner and then watched Good Luck Chuck. It was my 2nd time seeing that movie and I freakin LOVE it.

So then around 1 today I got my eyebrows done. No more creepy face catapillers. I got a new body spray and some soap from Bath and Body works and some lunch. Then I worked 2-5...during which I got caught on AIM by a secret shopper and my boss called and bitched me out even though I was doing all my days work and getting it done. But whatever. Eff them.

Now I'm doing laundry and will most likely go to bed once its close to being done. Luckily the only day I work the rest of the week is Wednesday. And Thursday-Sunday I'll be in Rolla.

Emily, does my girls next door dvds get sent tomorrow or arrive tomorrow?

Also, people on the bumper stickers application make me laugh. Theres a whole big bible thumpin thread about nudity and profanity being improper. I laugh in their general direction. I mean seriously people, if you think you can go through life without hearing profanity then you must be deaf! And nudity? Well God said be fruitful and multiply right? Well that involves some penis in 'gina action!...unless I missed something in anatomy.

Seriously, tits or GTFO.

New Study On Anti Depressants.

Yeah...I'm alot happier off mine. Zoloft makes me want to vomit. I rather be depressed than bent over the toilet.

but to each their own.

My mother and grandpa are going out to lunch.

Do they ask me to come? no. Do they care? no.

And my doctor tells my mother that he thinks my depression is my own fault.

I sit alone in my room and cry...and no one cares.

I just want life to be over so it stops tormenting me. I'm tired of being alone.

oh, and according to my mother, I just cut myself for attention.
And its my fault that I never leave my room and never get help.

At this point I'd kill myself just to spite her...but she prob. wouldnt even care then anyway.

The first step is realizing that you are not alone.

oh, and Miss Georgia died. I hate the Rams...but I liked her. She had personality. Sadly, she died of breast cancer...a disease I have come to be more and more terrified of as years pass. Why ? because all the women on my dads side of the family have gotten it. Basically, I'm moving my way up in line.